What I’ve Learned This Year: 2025

As has become the tradition, the last Marketing Matter of the year is a compilation of what I’ve learned since Marketing is Education, and we are to be life-long learners. In keeping with my systems thinking theory of the need for 5 elements in any successful system, I limit my sharing to only 5 lessons per year. Some of them may be profound; others…not so much.

There are, however, 2 words which can sum up the whole year for me: Change and Trust

Change began in January, when my 92 year-old mom passed on. For the past 4 years, she wondered why she was still here, and as she constantly reminded me, I said, “God isn’t finished with you yet.” There was still work to be done here on earth before it was time for her to go home. She passed peacefully – the same day my son received devastating news on his job. Then we moved to be closer to my wife’s mom (who moved from her condo to an apartment) and closer to my 91 year old dad who wanted to stay in the house. None of our neighbors could understand why were moving. Interestingly, all their parents had either passed on, lived close to them, or had siblings that lived close to their parents. It also meant giving up the leadership of the non-profit organization we started 16 years ago.

Then the retirement conversations began with my supervisor. It will take effect on Thursday, after almost 18 years of constant change.

The phrase from Scripture which has kept me going this year from Proverbs 3 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and rely not on your own understanding.” (verses 5-6). It succinctly states how our ways are not God’s ways, and provides support to the statement, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”

With so many things changing, if trust in the Lord wasn’t there, then that’s where anxiety, despair, depression and confusion can take over – especially this year.

With that in mind, here are the 5 learnings from this year:

1) Help doesn’t help.

“We need your help.” It’s the absolute worst statement you can write in an appeal letter. Why? It focuses on your school rather than on your contributor. Further, when you ask for help year after year after year, today’s society gets to the point of saying, “I’m done helping you.”

If you need proof of that, witness the school that announces it’s closing, then the parents rally and raise enough funds to get it through the following year – and then it’s announced that it’s closing the following year.

That’s because help is an immediate need, when what’s really needed is long-term support for sustainability.

Help is a “one-time” thing. You need a little “hand-up” to make it to a goal. Then, when you make that goal, there’s another goal that needs to be achieved, and if you return to the same pool of people that helped before, they will ask you to seek out others to help you.

I’ve seen it in working with customers. “We’d like to meet with you to pick your brain.” I LOVED those sessions. Unfortunately, when the solution I proffered included a change in what they needed to do to achieve their goal, I was told, “Oh no, we can’t do that. We just wanted your help.” For one school in particular, when they asked me a fourth meeting to “help” with what they were facing because the previous three requests could be done with no additional spend on the school’s part, I said, “What you’re wanting to do is going to require some financial commitment on your part” because they weren’t using a service that provided the kind of outcomes they were looking for. That was the last time I heard from them.

Further, I’ve also received comments from customers along the lines of, “Um…we’re your customer, so it’s your job to help us.” When I would say I could connect them to someone who would be able to achieve what they were looking for, their response was, “No…YOU need to fix this.”

That’s why I purchased a magic wand the last time I was at a Harry Potter souvenir shop. Spoiler alert – they don’t work either.

2) Rest isn’t necessary; it’s essential.

“Putting in the hours” is a great way to burn out. You need to protect your time. Think of it this way – if you work 8 hours a day, you need to rest 8 hours a day. If you’re working 10 to 12 hours a day, indeed, your life is work and rest. There needs to be balance – especially since meals, travel, hygiene and household responsibilities need to be fit into the remaining 8 hours. There is no such thing as “work-life” balance. It’s all life. The balance needs to be among work/rest/personal maintenance activities.

3) I am not responsible for someone else’s inability to do their job.

SO many people today expect – not just want – technology to do their jobs. Companies that provide the software keep making improvements to it to meet customer demands.

But an interesting trend is happening.

Take a look at Salesforce, the Customer Relationship Management tool giant. Their CEO is adopting a 9/9/6 mentality for its human workers – who write the code for the software. The customer service component is being handled more and more by AI. If you’re not familiar with 9/9/6, it means working 9 to 9 (12 hours a day) for 6 days a week. If you’re not prepared to work that schedule, then don’t bother applying to work for them.

Further, if the technology can do someone’s job, that person will be losing their job at some point.

The other interesting trend that is happening is the expectation that just because I know something due to training and experience, I’m expected to convey that expertise to someone who needs to do a job requiring that information.

I don’t know when the change happened, but when I was given a task that was in the “other duties as assigned” category, I needed to be able to say “yes” to the task, and then learn how to do it. That’s how I achieved the expertise. I had people I could contact to provide guidance, but I never expected them to “Do the job for me.” Sadly, that happens a lot today.

4) There are none so blind as the one who “will not” see.

More and move conversations with individuals are resulting in frustration. Someone will ask for something, and after understanding what they’re looking for, I may say that what they’re looking for will either cost a significant amount of dollars, they’ll need to change a process they’re currently using, or what they’re looking at doing is in the process of development. The response then, is something along the lines of, “Great – so when can that be implemented?”

Um…I think we missed a couple of steps. Are you willing to pay what it’s going to cost?

“Well, I don’t know. What’s it going to cost?”

Significantly more than what you’re paying now. If you’re prepared to take the next step, we can outline some of the specifics you’re going to need.

“No…I don’t have time for that. I just need a number.”

Or, there are the folks that don’t have to spend anything…just change what they’re doing. Their response, “No, we really don’t want to change anything since that would mean that others would need to change what they’re doing, and they don’t like change.”

Personally, we had a prize donated for our fundraising event that needed to be used within a particular timeframe. It was stated on the literature, in the announcement, and before the drawing that these dates were firm. So, what did the person do that entered and won the prize say? “Can we have that rescheduled to next year? We’re not going to be available during that time that was announced.”

5) Connections form relationships – and relationships are the key to success – until a better relationship comes along. Therefore, loyalty tops relationship.

This is a mantra from sales guru Jeffrey Gitomer, and it plays out more and more as we move forward at this point in history. There are two things that change a relationship. A change in leadership, or a betrayal of trust. A customer I developed a great relationship with decided to retire, and her position was filled by an individual who had other relationships with other providers. While I considered my relationship with the school to be a good one, the relationship really wasn’t with the “school;” it was with the person at the school.

Relationships are personal. The deeper the relationship, the stronger the loyalty. This is why parents will disenroll their children when a beloved principal is either reassigned, retires or accepts a new position and someone new is appointed – usually after a long search. They bring a vision to the school that resonates with the board, but may ruffle some parental feathers, as well as those of donors.

The problem usually is there isn’t a transitional period provided where the new leader can be apprised of some history as well as functional processes that are in place and working, as well as what some of the dreams of the leader that’s leaving were. In some instances, there’s an interim leader appointed, and that person knows they’re just there to “hold down the fort” until the permanent replacement is found. That’s usually where stagnation starts – and once it does, it’s difficult to implement change effectively…until a bond of trust has been formed.

May you and yours be blessed with a (note the 5 elements here) safe, joyful, healthy, prosperous and peace-filled 2026!